Much Ado About Nothing

"If you mean by 'taking on'...
marriage...
nothing was further from my mind," replied Lisa.

"I could only marry for love, and love is only possible between equals."

"And you haven't met yours yet, I take it," teased her father. "Yes, now that I come to think of it whoever tames your wild heart will need to have a strong hand as well as a loving one."

Lisa glared. Shades of Beatrice and Benedick again. Wasn't it Beatrice, who upon learning that Benedick really loved her, had said, "And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee; Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand." She was about to question her father along those lines when he said,

"You're right, of course, love is only possible between equals. There's nothing new about that as anyone who has been happily married and believes in marriage will tell you. But be careful, Lisa, that your love of freedom and independence doesn't prevent you from recognizing your equal when he comes along. I wouldn't like you to miss him as Beatrice almost missed Benedick."


I read those lines two days before Dan and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. The proverbial light bulb went on.

For years and through our differences, Dan had pressed me to understand why I chose to marry him. I couldn't explain.

Yet here amidst the pages of an old Harlequin, I grasped the Shakespearian reason for my attraction to him – an equal in heart, mind and spirit. (Not a copy or a mirror image. More like a strong balancing act.) And for that reason, I willing conceded my desires as an independent career woman to become his wife, mother to our three boys and keeper of our home.

Holding the family checkbook and paying the bills, I discovered a "delinquent" discrepancy on our garbage statement in June. I drafted a chastising letter to the owner noting the trouble and sent it with my current payment. He phoned to apologize for the misunderstanding. And I felt a bit sheepish for having made a big deal about a little thing. In September, I received my current statement which also had "past due" charges highlighted.

I called the accounting department about the check I'd sent but which hadn't cleared. The owner returned my telephone call. He apologized for losing the check I'd enclosed in the envelope with that letter. I agreed to write off that check and send the balance for both service periods.

The following week, I received in a tiny note card in the mail thanking me for my business and apologizing for the hassle with my account with "dinner and a movie" on the company.

Tonight Dan and I used the restaurant voucher and movie passes to celebrate our sixteen years "between equals" (like Beatrice and Benedick) as a result of our garbage account trouble that I confessed to having made "Much Ado About Nothing."

Sometimes I wonder why Dan chose me.